This is old news but...

Since hitting the interwebs 2 months ago I've watched this trailer at least a half a dozen times, I really like it. Spider-Man is, of course, one of the greatest superheroes ever created and Wes Anderson is one of my all-time favorite filmmakers. I realize that this is a joke and that the two styles clash immensely but damn if I don't want to see a full out Wes Anderson Spider-Man. Wes, if you're reading this, you're not but if you are, I will give you all the money in my bank account, that is like 20 whole dollars, if you make Spider-Man. Think about it.

-egs

Of course I give you like 20 whole dollars every time you make a movie but still.

Obligitory IronMan 2 trailer post

The first Iron Man was great so I actually have high hopes for the sequel. In fact, since I plan to be disappointed with The Last Airbender, Kick-Ass, The Losers and Scott Pilgrim this may be the film I'm most looking forward to in 2010. And yes, that's fucking briefcase armor people. Also the AC/DC song playing during part of the trailer, War Machine.

-egs

just for the hell of it here are some more trailers. As I said I plan on being disappointed in The Last Airbender but I still can't help but be a bit excited after watching this.

Movies that predate my birth...by quite some time actually

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I just started a new job and am still adjusting to my new schedule that includes less time for sleep and, more regrettably, blogging. I should get in to a more frequent blogging schedule as I adjust. Or not, in which case it'll be more like 3 days a week, which still isn't too bad. Anyways It's Oscar Season and you know what that means...it means I'm going to talk about movies that came out almost 50 years ago. First off both of these films are streaming, for free, on Hulu, which is how I saw them.

Charade (1963)

Directed by
Stanley Donen
Written by
Peter Stone
Starring
Cary Grant
Audrey Hepburn
and
Walter Matthau
James Coburn

This is what I love about old movies, no matter the situation every character has a witting comment to make at precisely the right time. It's incredibly unrealistic of course which is why you don't see it in movies as much anymore, but it's damn entertaining. It's almost impossible not to like a character when they always have a snappy comeback. Keep in mind this isn't really a comedy, even though it has some very funny parts, it's a mystery thriller. Basic setup is as follows: Hepburn is on vacation planning to divorce her husband, during the vacation she flirts with Cary Grant who happens to be there. When she returns home to Paris she discovers her house destroyed and her husband dead. It turns out her husband was part of a group that stole $250,000 from the US government but then he betrayed his fellows and kept the money for himself, escaping to Paris. Now his confederates want the money back and are after Hepburn to get it for them, this is all news to her and she has no clue where the money is. Re-enter Grant as her benevolent savior who's not what he claims. The plot twists and turns, a few people are killed, lies are discovered, and throughout it all romance blooms between the reluctant Grant and the aggressive Hepburn. The mystery is all well and good but the real head scratcher here is the relationship between Grant and Hepburn. Putting aside the obvious age difference and the inexplicable reluctance for Grant to get him some of that, Hepburn discovers lie after lie that Grant has feed her and she still keeps trusting him. A woman's libber would have a field day ripping this movie up. Hepburn comes across as mostly weak and helpless, and so blindly in love with Grant that she's willing to forgive anything with little more then a shrug. I know their are people who keep going back to a partner with a history of lying but Grant gives her like 5 different identities and after each one she's mad for like 10 seconds before completely forgetting about it and trying to fuck him. Apparently if you're Cary Grant you can pretty much do and say whatever you want and you'll still get layed. In short, Cary Grant's a good gig if you can get it. If you can get past that particular hang up it's an enjoyable movie with some good performances, a decent mystery, and some cleaver dialog.



Zatoichi (1962)

Directed by
Kenji Misumi
Written by
Minoru Inuzuka
Kan Shimosawa
Starring
Shintarô Katsu

Though this is the first Zatoichi film it's actually the third that I've seen. Like all the others this film follows Zatoichi, the wandering blind swordsman, as he gets himself involved in some local Yakuza trouble. The film is very post war Japanese, meaning it's deliberately paced and anti-war/anti-violence despite being about a dude that kills people as for living. The pacing of Asian films is something that I've become accustom to but it's worth pointing out that the first action sequence doesn't occur until an hour into the movie so if you're just looking for balls out sword fights this may not be the film for you. The film instead focuses on the characters and the time and place. The film is a slow boil, building the atmosphere, along the people and the situation unfold slowly, all the while knowing that blood will be spilled and people will die. As I mentioned before post WW2 flicks from Japan tend to be anti-war and this one is no different, Zatoichi is ever reluctant to draw his sword, preaching against the Yakuza lifestyle to the would be love interest of the film. Even the conclusion, which features a large action sequence in which many people are killed, is presented in such a way that it seems more sad and pathetic then glorious and exciting. It also shows that that people with disabilities are far from useless, and shouldn't be judged on that alone. Zatoichi may be blind but he's the best swordsman, gambler, and masseur around. I kind of love that the never explain why he's so badass it's just like, hey blind people grab a sword and start practicing, man up and you could be this cool too. So yeah, good morals and shit. While not a great film it's a good start to an epic franchise and introduces the world to a fantastic character that is around to this day almost 50 years later.

-egs

Without Zatoichi there is no Toph.

The Road is only long and winding if you're not eaten by @#$%ing Cannibals

I've never really liked horror films. It's not that I don't like scary things I just don't find many horror films frighting. To be frighting you need to be engaging, you need to have characters that the audience cares about and most horror films fall far short in that respect. Also a dude with a knife? I own a gun. A living doll? I think I have the size advantage. A giant monster? I suppose that would be pretty scary but how many giant monsters are you really going to run into. Starving to death on a dying world while trying not to be eaten alive by roaming hoards of cannibals? That's terrifying. Humanity at it's desperate worst is exponentially scarier then any movie monster because we know it's real, we know that humans are capable of unspeakable horrors. Fortunately we also know that humans are capable of love, compassion, determination, and self-sacrifice.

The best and worst of humanity come together in The Road. I should clarify The Road is not a horror film, it does however have some exceedingly tense and frighting moments and earns it's R rating. Director John Hillcoat presents a bleak version of the future in the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's novel of the same name. This is a challenging, taxing film that transports you to possibly the most horrific post-apocalyptic future ever captured on film. The film follows a man (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) after an unnamed and unseen catastrophe has devastated the world. We're talking total devastation, plants, animals, humans, everything is either dead or dying. What few humans left are fighting for their very survival, many have chosen suicide, some have resorted to cannibalization. The Man refuses to give up and with iron determination and a willingness to die or kill for the safety of his son, The Man leads them southeast toward the ocean where he hopes the warmer climate and sea life may provide salvation, or at the very least, survival.

Along the way the pair must be ever vigilante against danger while always hunting for food, shelter, and any supplies that they can use. Shoes for example become a high priority when all the gasoline has been used, all the horses dead, and you have no choice but to walk everywhere. Of course, with food and supplies so limited the threat of other humans increases. Knowing what people will do to survive The Man trusts no one and every encounter with another living being is fraught with tension, fear, and doubt, if not full on terror. The boy on the other hand inexplicably trusts people and empathizes with them in the way that only a kid can. Even knowing how hard food is to come by he will gladly give some to a stranger and while this might stretch logic it transforms him into the embodiment of human kindness and generosity.

The Man could be any man just as the boy could be any kid. They're not special, there's no chosen one, no mutant powers, no badass warriors, and that's what makes these two special. They're each inspiring in their own way; the man in his die hard determination, his will to survive, his steadfast love and devotion to his son. The boy in his hope, his unwavering optimism, and his belief that mankind is by nature good and decent.

The cinematography, combined with the set and location design, perfectly captures the desolate mood. The landscape is dead and cold, everything you see looks dirty, old, and broken. The actors, costumers, and makeup artists also deserve a lot of credit for personifying people that have gone through hell and are stubbornly clinging to life. I can not stress how good Viggo Mortensen in this film. I mean, he's always good, but here he is amazing, he carries this film and that it works is in no small part because he sells it so convincingly. Charlize Theron and Robert Duvall also have small, but important rolls in the film. Theron plays The Man's wife and through flashbacks we see her fate and we recognize how easily anyone of us might have shared it, given the circumstances. Duvall is given less to do but brings a fantastic performance full of sorrow and age, you can see the pain he's endured etched in his face and in every word he speaks. Smit-McPhee can't measure up to the talent surrounding him but his performance is acceptable.

The Road is one of those films that while good, you know you won't want to watch to many times, it's too draining and grim. However, it's a film well worth watching and one that will stay with you for a long time.

-egs

What's in a name? Apparently everything.

This is a movie called Ninja Assassin. I'll let that sink in for a minute. Still here? If you are I'm going to assume you're the type of person who might be interested in a movie about ninjas who are also rather redundantly referred to as assassins. Because if you're not someone who grew up catching old Asian action movies or someone who has argued the pro-ninja side of a ninja vs. pirate debate, this is probably not the movie for you. If, on the other hand, you spent chunks of your youth trying to blend into shadows and perfect your shuriken skills like some people who may, or may not, be typing this review, you might find this movie an enjoyable way to spend 99 minutes.

The film follows Naomie Harris as FBI Agent Mika Coretti, who has pieced together the long kept secret of the ninja clans. It seems that for generations the clans have abducted children and trained them to be the perfect assassins, yours for the low price of a hundred pounds of gold. Fearing for their secrecy the clans sends ninjas after Mika, however she's saved by the good looking uber ninja Raizo, a man who left his murderous clan and now fights to stop them.

Raizo is played by Korean Pop star Rain and surprisingly, he is not a bad actor. Rain certainly looks the part and the ladies will be happy to know that he spends a chunk of the movie sans shirt. Of course, the clans won't stop until they're both dead so carnage ensues as wave after wave of ninjas slaughter anyone in their path before inevitably falling to Raizo's skill.

Intercut with this is Raizo's childhood as he is trained by Ozunu (Shô Kosugi) to ignore pain, to move without sound, to fight without sight, and to kill without hesitation. Your basic badass ninja package. Kosugi nails these scenes absolutely embodying the classic strict, unyielding, merciless teacher. Unknown to Ozunu, Raizo also learns love and compassion courtesy of female ninja in training Kiriko. The last thing Ozunu wants is a ninja with compassion, understandable really as that would be an undesirable trait in a hired killer, so when Raizo refuses to kill a comrade that attempted to flee, he becomes a traitor in the eyes of his ninja brethren.

The film comes to us from the Wachowskis' right hand man James McTeigue who also directed the much better V for Vendetta. I was a bit perplexed that a seemingly up and coming director would make a rather mediocre action movie about ninjas with a story that generally winds up being made as a straight to DVD affair. It makes perfect sense however when you realize that McTeigue like the Wachowskis is looking to make live action anime which is essentially what this is, just a bit toned down in terms of ninjas can do anything (there are no Naruto level ninjas who are wizards that also know kung-fu and can destroy whole armies single handily in this film). What's slightly more perplexing is the presence of award winning writer J. Michael Straczynski, who co-wrote the film. Then again for those that read JMS's rather polarizing run on The Amazing Spider-Man this may not come as a shock.

My only real complaint (because complaining about a cliche story or a bit of bad acting in a movie called Ninja Assassin would be like complaining that a movie called Aliens had aliens in it) is that the vast majority of the fights are propped up by cgi. Sure you'll see lots of limbs flying and blood splattering but almost all of it is clearly cg. A movie like this there is a certain satisfaction in seeing a practical fake arm being severed as red colored corn syrup splatters on our hero's grimaced face. That sounded gayer then I meant it to but my point still stands. Personally I hope that the next ninja/samurai/dude with a sword movie goes a bit more old school in its action sequences.

If your looking for action, blood, and, well, ninjas, you could do a lot worse. In short, this is a movie called Ninja Assassin.

-egs